MelissaMS

Hello guys! It’s been so long since I have been on this site … I’m going to

Things went down hill for me in a way I can never explain to my dear pals. I almost lost my husband, almost lost my home almost lost my self worth.

I was doing so well, I lost some weight. I gained new pals and I had a great support system on here. I do apologize for not being there for you guys in return the past few months.

I was recently diagnosed with severe bipolar, severe adhd, a mood disorder and a case of social anxiety. Anyone who knows me knows that THAT is NOT me! I used to be a happy woman, a proud mother and a great wife. A sister that would be there whenever my sister called, a daughter my mother could depend on. I had lost that person in the course of a year and a half. I was being treated for postpartum (those drugs were making my bipolar worse!), lord knows that can’t be the case two years after delivering my bundle of joy. I hit rock bottom, Couldn’t get out of bed for my daily 6 mile walk. Couldn’t even get my kiddies ready and moving in the mornings. It was a terrible day, when my husband told me he was moving out. He couldn’t be with someone who didn’t want to get out of bed, someone who wasn’t motivated about life. I decided to find a real psychiatrist instead of my family doctor. He shortly came to the conclusion and the diagnosis of all of my problems. I have been taking my medications daily, taking life one day at a time. Realizing I do not have to be perfect for people to accept and appreciate me. Things have been flowing well. I have however gained some weight and am now ready for that weight loss battle once again. I need a good life style changing, and a new look on life as a healthier me.

I hope everyone is well. I have missed you guys so much! This is truly THE BEST site I have ever used!!

Medications I am on, If anyone has any experience with them …

Invega9mg

adderall 60mg

provigil 400mg

Take care and hope to hear from you soon,
Melissa

Im in a crabby mood! 87 dollars to fill up my gas tank. 300 dollar car payment. 1000 dollar mortgage payment. I hate the government. I don’t want to get on the scale today b/c it might be as high as everything else … hahaha. =) Maybe tomorrow will be better, mood wise. Lord knows anything having to do with money isn’t going down! Grrr! I just don’t get it guys. When its bad it get worse. My hubby was pulled over on mothers day at a sobriety check point. WELL they run his plates and it came up as suspended licence. OKAY, WHATEVER .. We just got tags for his van 2 weeks ago! So they ARREST him in front of my kids, I have to come get the kids. Then they IMPOUND his van!! He doesn’t go to court until friday, I bailed him out when they arrested him there’s another 300 hundred. SOOO call the clerk of courts they say he doesn’t have a suspended license SOOOO we go this morning get his license back from BMV … HERE when he got a ticket LAST summer the woman never marked him as showing his insurance card. SOOOO from last summer until now they JUST marked it as suspended b/c of no insurance. Had to get all my documents together showing we had insurance to get his license back!! Get into an argument with the police station b/c they won’t let us have his van back until he goes to court on FRIDAY b/c he wasn’t wearing his seat belt and they had him marked as SUSPENDED!!! I’m pissed, annoying and furious. I HATE our judicial sytem. While there are rapist, pedophiles and murders out there NOT TO MENTION drunk drivers who are putting OTHER drivers at risk on the road!!! SOOO now we have to pay 125 a day to get our car out friday … FROM SUNDAY.

Owell, nothing I can do now … Just venting.

Good morning buddies!!! Hope everyone is having a good morning and hopefully we all have a great week! Things are going good over here, Sticking to my diet and exercise routine! Even went to buy new underwear yesterday … size 8. And they are too big =) WOO!!! Just have to get to that size 5 undies and I got it guys!!! I just really want to ride roller coasters with my son this summer =) I want to be able to do all that fun stuffs with him!! I’ll never forget the summer I had my daughter, I couldn’t ride the rides b/c I was too damn big!!! My son was so sad =(  I’m gonna get there!! I know I can!! We can all reach our goals with the love and help of each other!! I can’t tell you guys how much better I feel and how hopeful I am … thanks to all of you!!

Well. I’m so glad to hear about our weigh in … GO ROCKSTARS!!! I would have never thought if I put a little effort into losing weight It would actually come off … lol. What was I thinking?!?! Anyway, Haven’t been on in a while. Been busy with the kiddo’s. Getting ready for T ball and all that fun “summer” stuff. We’ve been walking in the woods a lot in the evenings and pretty much staying active. I just learned that my hubby will be out of town agaaaain (GRRR) the whole first week in may. He’s the only one in the company that travels and he’s the only one with small kids. Just irritates me! BUT some good news … Since the doc. put me on Lexapro it has done wonders for me. I’m happy, energetic and feel comfortable leaving the kids with the hubby for an hour! lol I soooo have to catch up on reading blogs! I missed reading them and talking with everyone!!

Well! Called the doctor this morning, He got me in there within an hour. Checked my vitals blah blah blah … Decided to put me BACK on Lexapro but a higher dose. So, We will see! Feeling extremely worn out today, doubt I’ll be do anything much … lol. One good thing, I do not have an appetite what so ever, I’ve had 3 banana’s today! lol Nutritious, eh? He said it might take some time to find one that is compatable with my body, So time will tell!! It’s so nice outside today, Who knows I might go pull those nasty weeds. Will be back on tonight sometime to catch up on blogs!! Everyone have an awesome friday!! And a great weekend!!

Oh man, What a day I have had today. Go to the doctor today … break down in his office crying life a buffoon!  Anyways, He told me he wants to to go see a psychologist and talk to her because he’s really worried about my “state of mind”. Him?? hahaha, He should be inside this head of mine! He then puts me on blood pressure pills b/c it’s been sky high the past few times I’ve been there, Also on cholesterol meds. that contain fish oil? THEN he gives me Xanax … UH OH … Tells me to take them once 3 times a day IF needed. SO, I’m super upset from being put on ALL this stuff, freaking out I take HALF of a Xanax … It was pure HELL. Spent from 3:00 tonight until about 9:30 crying my eyes out, noone could touch me because It felt weird.  That scared me, SO NO MORE OF THOSE! Going to call him tomorrow and tell him I need something else because that stuffs gonna kill me guys!!! Something else that’s weird about it … I constantly go pee … lol … Have yet to pee from 3 pm today … weird! I’m really tired right now though guys … Just wanted to let everyone know what went on today … And I cannot tell you guys how much a feel loved on here … so many people have contacted me offering a shoulder … thank you guys so much … Tomorrow is another day … Goodnight everyone!

Anyone know anything about anxiety meds.? Since I’ve had my daughter I’ve had severe panic attacks, If Im uncomfortable I start scratching all over (exp. my head) I think TERRIBLE thoughts, That something might happen to my children If IM not with them, Even if they are with my husband. I have the most faithful husband, He’s totally devoted to me and the kids. BUT whenever he is out of town or even talking to customers at work I THINK HE’S CHEATING ON ME, GRRR lol. I’m CRAZY!! I’m a TOTALLY outgoing person … I love making people smile and laugh. BUT when we are around LARGE crowds I panic, I think something is going to happen to us. Or the kids are going to get sick from someone not being clean … OMG I so cannot believe I’m telling you guys this, LOL. I know there is something wrong with me … And I know it’s because of my childhood … certain memories. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT … I lock every window and door in the house. EVEN if I know I locked it or it hasn’t been open I RE CHECK it!! Hubby is out of town this week … Last night Cameron said to me …Mommy what if a big man comes in our house? OMG, I didn’t go to sleep until 5:15 am … Watched a bunch of movies!! Looked stuff up on the internet. ANYWAY!!! Called the doctor told him what was going on … I love my doc. YOU ACTUALLY TALK TO HIM … which ROCKS! Anyway, He knows my situation. Had me on LEXAPRO but that crap sucked. Made me WORSE than what I was! So he told me to do my research, Look up some meds. and bring stuff into him tomorrow and he will go over each med. with me until we find the RIGHT one, and of course seeing how I physically react to it. Anyway, My concern is WEIGHT GAIN … I told him I’m doing GOOD with losing the weight and I WILL NOT BE WILLING TO PUT IT BACK ON … lol. SOOO, Does ANYONE know of any that do NOT cause weight gain??? PLEASEEEE let me know … As I said I go tomorrow afternoon … I did some research on EFFEXOR and that seems to not have as many side effects as the rest …

Well I  am backkkkk! We had fun, It was a good time with a TON of walking. When I say a ton, I MEAN a freaking HUGE AMOUNT. lol =) Anyway, Got a lot of walking in, swimming, lugging around a 22 lb. kid and a lot of whining from both of them! I will say this, My eating habits were not all that good just for the fact I couldn’t eat from I usually eat! But I did eat a lot of salads with everything else I ate,  does that count? haha. We came home yesterday, I actually bought a treadmill. Dick’s had them on sale so I couldn’t pass it up! How often do you treadmill users use it for and how many times a day?  Hubby is out of town until Thurs. morning so I should be able to lose these ounces I put on while he is away!! When he is here I just don’t get as much done, Maybe it’s b/c he’s like my 3rd child?? lol Take care guys!!!!

We’re going to Columbus for the weekend, Taking the kids to their Zoo, State park and COSI … SOOO everyone have a GREAT weekend and BE GOOD … lol =) And pray I don’t come back 3X bigger … hahaha … Take care everyone!!

Does anyone have a good recipe for Collard Greens? Without the ham hock? I’m pretty much addicted to them =) And now DOLE has started bagging the greens so all you have to do is cook them. No tearing them apart, no washing all the dirt (i do still rinse though) I love them. I looked under recipes but there are none listed for them! =) Anyone ever try them with Chicken instead of the ham?? Thanks guys, Hope everyone is having a great day =) =)